Robert Wayne Boyink (1938-2015)

It's been nearly 10 months, and I'm still processing the loss of my dad back in January.

Here is the obituary that ran online:

Robert Boyink, 86, passed away peacefully on Sunday, January 12, 2025, at his residence in Mission, TX. Born on May 19, 1938, in Grand Haven, Michigan, Robert led a life rich with love, adventure, and a deep devotion to family.

Robert is preceded in death by his sister Shirley Cooper. He is survived by his beloved wife of 63 years, Patricia Boyink; his sons Mike Boyink (Crissa Boyink) and Terry Boyink (Jenny Boyink) and daughter Christine VanderWall (Paul VanderWall); and numerous grandchildren who brought him great joy.

Robert is also survived by his brother, Larry Boyink (Patricia Boyink).

A dedicated waterplant operator by profession, Robert was also a gifted handyman who could fix just about anything. In his spare time, he enjoyed his hobby of ham radio, connecting with people from all over the world. A passionate traveler, Robert loved exploring new destinations with Patricia, whether they were adding unique modifications to their Jeep, camping under the stars, or square dancing together.

After retiring at 55, they split their time between the warmth of the Rio Grande Valley in the winter months and their beloved Michigan in the summer.

Robert will be remembered for his quiet strength, his warm and welcoming spirit, and the unwavering love he had for his family. He touched the lives of all who knew him and will be deeply missed.

Not Enough

I often think about memory and legacy, and while that obituary is all well and good (and with no offense to whoever wrote it) it doesn't tell the full story of a man.

That doesn't seem right for someone who has a web developer and writer for son, and especially when that son also happens to own the boyink.com domain name.

So consider this page the place to capture more of the story of Robert Wayne Boyink.

But be forewarned - I don't have a formal process for writing this article. It's not going to be well-structured. I'll add/edit in a stream of consciousness fashion as memories come to me. 

And I know it seems odd to mention dad in 3rd person form - but I don't like the idea of someone doing a web search for "Robert Boyink" and only getting results from corporate sites like Legacy.com (which is owned by a private equity firm - aka people only concerned with legacy as a means to profitability).

Robert Boyink's Funeral

Dad's funeral was very much like him. He was not a storyteller and there were no stories shared. He was not a sentimental man and there were no loud emotional outbursts. He was a church deacon, not an elder, a club member, not a club president, and there were no testimonies from people who "inspired by his leadership." 

It was a simple affair, held in South Texas where my parents settled. All of us kids were there, my kids were there, my aunt and uncle, some neighbors, and some of dad's biking friends.

It was a Veterans funeral held at a Veterans memorial park in Mission. My mom wasn't able to attend, having had surgery for a fall less than a week before.

They read his name (slightly mispronouncing our sound-effect last name), did a 21 gun salute, presented the flag to my sister, and that was about it.

The Unknown Soldier

Dad never talked about his service much. I only recall seeing a few black and white photos of him in uniform, but I can't remember where I saw it. It wasn't ever in a frame up on the wall.

No old Navy buddies ever came to visit. His tour in the Philippines only ever came up when we kids uncovered stored-away trinkets from his tour there. I do also remember a photo of him taken in the Phillipines seated on a little scooter with a spare tire mounted on the rear.

Later in life, I would always do a bit of a double-take when he'd stand to be recognized as a veteran at a public event.

I always wanted to hear more about his military experience, but it rarely felt like the right time to ask.

We met the last surivor of the Bataan Death March during our RV travels, and when I told Dad about it he did comment about his time there, after WWII had ended. He said that the people in the Phillipines were always friendly to him, thankful that the US later liberated them.

But those kind of moments were rare. Dad usually lived in the moment, talking about the weather or something broken that he'd just fixed. He rarely waxed nostalgic about the past or expressed concern about the future.

Worried About Mom

He did once share his concern for my mom's heath. It was on a summer night, after dark, outside their cottage on Hess Lake. My mom was in the middle of treatments for the cancer. Just for a moment, his defenses slipped, and he expressed his worry for her and not knowing what he would do if he lost her. But he didn't linger, getting up to make sure the boat was covered for the night.

Ham Radio

Cars/Jeeps

RVs/Camping


Dad and Me Time

I am a middle child with an older brother and younger sister. Growing up in a distictly middle-class home that meant I was often the kid to save money on with hand-me-down bikes, hand-me-down clothes etc. And we usually did things as a complete family - so getting individualized attention was rare in a house where dad worked (and swing-shift at that.)

But there was one time I had a "just dad and me" camping trip. I must have been around 10-12 years old. I don't remember why my sister and brother couldn't go. But dad and I took our motorhome and dune buggy up to Silver Lake Sand Dunes in Michigan. I didn't have to try and win the "call shotgun" game in the dune buggy, got more turns steering it while dad ran the shifter and pedals, and got to make more decisions about what to eat at night.

Fond memories of that weekend helped me decide to schedule regular "daddy and me dates" with my own children when they were about the same age. We just had donuts instead of dune buggies...

Helping Neighbors

He'd do anything for a neighbor and never take anything for it.

Tireless Grampa

Bob Boyink was a tireless grampa, always jumping up to give the kids rides on everything from his hand truck to the garden tractor to the SeaDoo.

Willie B's BBQ

Ice Cream

Bob loved ice cream so much he had a dedicated freezer for it in the garage.